Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Like an incredibly ugly and deformed Trojan horse, we wheel the baby whale towards its impending doom. The military seals with their massively inflated egos will probably think its a sign of surrender. Haha... that couldn't be further from the truth. Finally, after 2 whole hour and roughly 100 metres (HEY!!! ITS NOT EASY MOVING A 4,000 kg WHALE BOMB OVER THE ICE ON A STUPID TROLLEY, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 4 PENGUINS PUSHING THE DAMN THING!!!), we finally made it to the base of those darn pesky military seals. THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE WITH PENGUIN AFFAIRS!!! Nevermind, soon that will be just all be in the past. Ah, the military seals have spotted us. Good... Ooh... just look at their smug faces. Here... have your whale... hope you enjoy having him... Yes!!! Success!!! They have taken the whale into their base. Now to retreat to a safe distance and watch the fireworks... Damn that red detonator button looks so tempting... NO!!! Must resist!!!
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/21/2003 05:21:00 PM

Damn this bag-of-blubber is heavy!!! Just lifting him like 5 inches off the floor to put him on a trolley almost gave my 3 penguin bretheren and i hemmeroids. I bet all of us are going to have major problems when we next take a dump. But finally we got him on that trolley. Hope it doesnt buckle under his weight. All that pain and strenuous heaving will be worth it. I can just imagine the shock on the faces of those damn military seals when their precious whale goes boom. Muahahaha.. Bye bye elitist government dogs (or seals... whatever)!!! All your years of military training could not prepare you for whats your going to experience soon. Just you wait...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/21/2003 05:05:00 PM

YOU STUPID GAY BABY WHALE!!!!!!!!!!! IT MUST HAVE BEEN YOUR NOSEY PARENTS OR YOUR HOMO SIBILINGS OR YOUR GAY PARTNER OR WHATEVER WHO ALERTED THE NAVY SEALS!

Argh....control my temper I must. My bird brain cant think properly if I am angry.
Hmm, let me think...My fellow birdies are currently in hiding. Thats good, the stupid navy seals will never guess where we are hiding.

An penguin emergency have been declared. All penguins with ding a ling a lings have been called up to active service.
Me too, I am being called up as leading military and sabotage specialist.

We have set out ice trenches and have place penguins armed with sniper rifles and night vision goggles as first line of defence.
If those bastards come within range, they are gay baby whale food. I mean, whales eat seals, yet them stupid seals are still comming for that gay bastard..stupid animals I must say. I am ashamed to share the same hemisphere as them.

Well, at the high council meeting just now, I just briefed the council on my master plan.
I am buliding an SSD BOMB. What is SSD the you ask asks....why....its SEALS SURE DIE BOMB.
I cant divulge the exact designs now.....its top secret but anyway, I dont think your puny brain power can understand the designs anyway. Hmm, I wonder why I ever was friends with you .... I think I was young and stupid.

Ok, more on my bomb. Its the most powerful weapon against seals ever created...
However, it being the most destructive, it is actually very big and difficult to conceal.
Thus , as a last stand agaisnt the seals if too many penguins die.
The council have decided....YOU, THE GAY BABY WHALE SHALL BE SACRIFICED!!!

The SSD bomb, shall be forced down the YOUR mouth. The battery for the bomb shall be inserted thru YOUR blow hole.
And we shall tape up YOUR mouth with liberal amounts of sello tape!!!!
Then, we shall deliver YOU to the seals in a show of surrender!!
Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but die they will!!! Die!!!!!!
I personally will push the small red button on the remote!!!

haha, but I will miss the you, so thats why its the last stand. Lets just hope the seals get bored after awhile...
hmm, but its the perfect way to redeem yourself right??

posted by kingkangkong at 10/21/2003 01:23:00 AM

Thursday, October 16, 2003

BURP!!! Now that was a good meal... Aww.. is the poor whalie hungry? Well, thats your problem!!! What?!!! Am i supposed to feed you now?!!! How about your diapers? You want Uncle Penguin to clean your ass for you too?!!! You treat me like a pile of crap all the time and whenever YOU need me, i am supposed to be there by your side and help you out? Fat chance, blubberboy!!! The polar ice caps would melt before i let you go, you gay bastard!!! I always wondered... How do whales breathe? Is it through that weird hole on your heads? I mean who breathes through their head?!!! And i thought being a bird that couldnt fly was weird. Damn whale, you're a freak!!! What happens if i stuff this cork in that hole? Will you die? Will all the air you breathe up get trapped and blow you up from the inside? Ooh... that WOULD be a pretty sight... All the blood and the brains... mixed with all the snow and ice... Kinda reminds me of a strawberry Slurpee... damn... Now I'm craving for a Slurpee... Stupd whale!!! It's all your fault!!! See, you made me think of food again!!! You know i am on a diet!!! You did that on purpose, didnt you?!!! That's the last straw man!!! Die bastard!!! I hope you suffocate and then go BOOM!!! Urgh... MUAHAHA!!! The cork is wedged tightly in you stupid hole-in-the-head... Now to see what happens to you... I think I'll pop down to 7-11 and get a Slurpee and some snacks... What's a nice show without nice food, right? Don't go anywhere, k? Its not like you can anyway... I'll be right back... Be a good gay baby whale while i'm gone and Uncle Penguin promises a painless death...well, maybe a little painful...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/16/2003 09:22:00 PM

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Oh boy! Am I having fun. Watching all the blood ooze out. Raises my adrenaline. It is one of the best times in my life. Plucking out the gay baby whale's teeth. Oooohh.. Look at that. A tooth decay. I'll take care of that. Oh sorry.. Did that hurt? Well, it's meant to hurt! This tooth is for ignoring me, this one's for taking away all my friends and this one's for.. well, being gay! Take that and that and that. Shit! There's no more teeth to pluck! Oh well, guess I'll have to think of other punishments. Thinking of all these punishments makes me hungry. How about a little... SUSHI!!! I love fish.. Especially big blubbery ones. Don't you? I know.. I know.. Whales aren't exactly fish. But who the hell cares?! You all look the same to me with your stupid tails and your flippers and your irritating habit of thinking that you own the whole bloody ocean... Umm.. Yummy... Salmon...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/15/2003 05:24:00 PM

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Shut up!!! I just wish that just for a minute that damn whale would stop moaning. After all, at least i am dragging him along behind the snowmobile on ice and not asphalt. He should seriously be grateful for that fact and stop whining so much about it. "Oh, it hurts!!!"..."Ouch!!!"... I never imagined that anything could have made such an irritating noise, let alone a big, strong whale. Yes, finally we're here. Now i'll show "Mr Popular" here what happens to people who ignore me. Gay baby whale, welcome to hell, otherwise known as the penguin's lair!!! It is a place where unspeakable horrors abound and guess what? You're next!!! I have always treated you as a friend but i am always left on the curb when you find someone else to play with. Have i no feelings? If you prick me, do i not bleed? My heat aches when you're mean to me. I feel so hurt. Yeah, yeah... NOW you beg for mercy. NOW you want to be my friend. Well, tough nuts!!! Its too late, buddy!!! You made me suffer now its my turn to make you pay!!! Did you think you were going to get away with it?! Did you?! I'll make you pay!!! Ooh... i am so scary i give myself goosebumps...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/09/2003 10:16:00 AM

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Aha!!! There he is. Thought he could hide from me, did he? Wait a minute, who is he with? Damn!!! Its those nature-loving GreenPeace geeks!!! What are they doing to him? Why are they stroking him?! Why does he get the free fish?! No wonder he gave me the fish... it must be his bloody leftovers!!! The damn gay baby whale is milking his injuries for their sympathies!!! Damn he is a smart bastard, isnt he?! Trying to steal my friend from me huh?! I'll show them who's boss!!! I'll end their puny, insignificant live with the might of my turbo-charged snowmobile of Death!!! Die!!! Die!!! Die!!! Die you evil spawn of Satan!!! Muahahaha!!! Yes!!! Run!!! Run away with your tails between your legs!!! Fear my wrath!!! Hell hath no fury like a penguin scorned!!! Ah... i do think the snow looks cooler in red, no? Anyone care, or should i say dare, to disagree with me? I guessed not...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/08/2003 10:48:00 AM

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Here i am riding on my new snowmobile. Well it isnt exactly mine. I borrowed it from the gay baby whale's GreenPeace friends. Now, where did that stupid whale go now? How can something so fat and slow keep disappearing so fast? I kinda feel sorry for breaking his tail. I really didn't mean to run the snowmobile over his tail. Honest!!! I mean how was i to see his fat, blubbery tail? I just wanted him to play with me. Dumb whale... wasnt even smart enough to move out of the way. Its his own fault i say. Hehe... guess he has to stay around here since he can't move around much. Oh that's so sad. I bet his stupid GreenPeace pals miss him SO much. Like i care...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/07/2003 09:54:00 AM

Monday, October 06, 2003

Today, the stupid gay baby whale brought me some fish. What does he think i am? He thinks i am so cheap. Fish?! And i am supposed to forgive him for taking me for granted for so long?! He thinks he is so smart. Bait the penguin with some fish and you'll get whatever you want from him. Well guess what?! He is WRONG!!! I have my dignity. I have my pride. But damn, i am a little hungry...
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/06/2003 09:19:00 AM

Sunday, October 05, 2003

I am so cold my wings are developing frostbite. My beak is leaking. There is some strange greenish fluid...I AM SCARED!!! Oh look, it's the gay baby whale, dragging his blubber over the ice. He thinks he's SO popular... now he's always hanging out with those politically-correct enviro-friendly GreenPeace psychos. What have they got that i don't? I am cool. I can get jiggy with it. Why doesnt he like me? Oh no, what am i saying. Get a grip on yourself!!!
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/05/2003 11:26:00 AM

Saturday, October 04, 2003

The gay baby whale has been very quiet lately. I fear for my own safety. He tends to sneak up on you when you are not looking. Sneaky little bastard. Heard he has new friends over at the other side of the ice. I kinda feel lonely now. Damn, i think i am turning gay!!! No, no, i am straight. I know i am. Or am i?
posted by FifaFanSG at 10/04/2003 10:58:00 AM